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Kevin England's LiveJournal:
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| Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 | | 8:30 pm |
| | Saturday, August 2nd, 2008 | | 9:05 am |
| | Friday, May 18th, 2007 | | 9:09 pm |
| | Thursday, March 1st, 2007 | | 8:08 am |
End of an era
Okay, so I'll post a couple of quick points about recent events, to clear up some misconceptions. 1) Yes, Brandon and I broke up. 2) No, there wasn't some big incident. No crazy fights, no cheating, nothing like that. 3) Yes, we're still getting along just fine. It's a bit of an adjustment, but we're okay. 4) No, neither one of us has someone new right now, but yes, it's a possibility. 5) No, as of now, Brandon's not planning to move out. 6) Yes, we'll probably change our living arrangement somewhat, but no decisions yet. 7) Yes, Sadie's holding up okay. We're keeping things civil for her sake :) It's weird how things change over time... After nine months, we've agreed that something's been different for the last month or two, that the "spark" has faded, and that we're not sure what we want. It's hard to know what's just the "honeymoon is over" fading, and what's actually falling out of love with someone... But I guess when you really don't know whether you should be a couple, you're probably better off not trying to force it. I want to be someone's boyfriend because I'm the person he wants to be with, not because he agreed to be my boyfriend more than half a year ago. We're not MARRIED, we just made a choice not to date other people... And now that we're not so sure what we want, we're choosing to keep our options open. If we do end up back together, it'll be because we didn't FORCE ourselves to be a couple, but then realized we wanted to be one anyway. And if we don't end up back together, it'll be because we were honest with each other and chose to find the right person to be with. I'm much less composed than the preceding three paragraphs make it seem -- this is hard for me, despite the doubts I was having about our future together -- but I'm trying. The biggest challenge for me is that nothing was SPECIFICALLY wrong, it just stopped feeling so right over time. I suppose it's harder to accept when there's nothing you can point a finger at and say, "See? That's what went wrong." That doesn't mean that it's any less important to come to terms with the reality of the situation, though. It's also sort of surreal because for the most part we're still getting along fine. We're not just being "civil" to each other (my Sadie joke above notwithstanding) but we actually really do like and care about each other. Fortunately both of us have a good history of being on good terms with ex-boyfriends, so I'm not worried that we're going to be at each other's throats or anything. (Granted, it's bound to get weird when each of us starts dating again, but we'll just have to get through that) The strangest part about all of this is that as I deal with it, my reactions vary greatly. Most of the time, particularly when we're home together, I really am doing fine... I can rationalize that this is for the best, and I can be happy that we're making a mature decision to do the right thing. It's more often when I'm alone, or at work, that I get sad at the idea of being single again, of wondering when each of us will start to date again, and fearing how we'll both react. You go from thinking you KNOW what your life will be like next week, next month, next summer, to realizing that your whole world has just been turned upside down, and there's a great big question mark where there used to be stability and comfort. It's hard, but then, that's life. Anyway, that's all I have to say for the moment. Thank you to those few friends I've talked to about this -- you've been a big help as I try to adjust. And for everyone reading this, please be considerate of the feelings of everyone involved if you choose to comment. Current Mood:  confused | | Friday, October 27th, 2006 | | 9:58 pm |
Big changes!
1) Brandon and I have been together for five months now. That's the equivalent of a two-year marriage for straight people. 2) He's officially moved out of his old place and in with me. 3) In two weeks I'm finishing my big project at work, earning my Six Sigma Green Belt certification! JOB SECURITY, baby! 4) In the next month, we move into my new condo -- 2 bedroom, 2 bath, hardwood floors, walk-in closets, black marble countertops, sink and dishwasher in a kitchen island, long living room, windows everywhere, unobstructed view of the skyline, and a 10x10 balcony facing the skyline, etc. 5) In the next month, I'll find out what my permanent assignment will be. That's right, no more rotations, just on to glory. 6) January 2nd, I start my new job at the bank. Holy shit. Wow. Lots going on!! | | Sunday, August 27th, 2006 | | 8:31 am |
Required updates
So it's been almost four months since my last post here... Yet I'm on MySpace daily, sometimes hourly. I'm sorry, LiveJournal, don't be mad... You're still pretty. And I still love reading OTHER peoples' LJ posts (Josh, I'm talkin' to you!) and checking out the VH1 Best Week Ever blog here. Five sentences in and I'm already rambling... Not a good sign. My life's taken a number of turns in the months that I've been away. I've lost some friends, and made some new ones. Former acquaintences from back-in-the-day (BITD) have become much closer, and recent acquaintences from online have become friends -- and more -- in the real world. Work has been up-and-down since I settled here for good in December/January. I've had long periods of inactivity, but recently I've settled on a great project to work on. I've learned a LOT, and finally feel like I'm having the opportunity to prove my worth at the bank. Good timing, of course, 'cause by next summer I need to have found my ideal career path at the bank and convinced them to place me there permanently! And of course, the biggest update... For three months now I've been dating an amazing guy named Brandon. Met him on MySpace (thank you, MySpace!) and arranged to hang out at an American Idol party at Liaisons. TOTALLY under the "let's be friends and hang out" vibe, since he recently got out of a long-term relationship. But hey, things happen, y'know? We've already road-tripped down to Florida together, where he was subjected to meeting my parents and most of my long-term friends. He survived that trip, and we're planning on another one this coming Labor Day weekend... Unfortunately, Hurricane Ernesto seems to have other plans for us. Gotta wait and see how that goes. All in all, things have really been looking up in the last few months. Life is good. | | Sunday, May 7th, 2006 | | 11:55 pm |
Short version
So I had a big long rambling message I was working on all day... but in the end I decided not to post it, so I've started over. I'll just say this... Sometimes you look up and realize that you don't recognize the person you've been for the last few months. And you look at your friends in a new place, and realize most of your friends are just acquaintances to go to bars with. And that you've been acting in a way that's not "you" with a bunch of people who don't even know the difference. It makes you step back and wonder what the hell you're doing, and why you're willing to accept quantity of social interactions for quality of good close friends. This is one of those times. I have a GOOD life here... I just need to shift my focus a little up here. I need to stop celebrating being settled in Charlotte, and start celebrating being ME in Charlotte. | | Tuesday, April 25th, 2006 | | 5:37 pm |
Awesome song
Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. When I wake up, I'm willing to take my chances on the hope I forget that you hate him more than you notice I wrote this for you. You need him. I could be him... I could be an accident but I'm still trying. That's more than I can say for him. Where is your boy tonight? I hope he is a gentleman. Maybe he won't find out what I know: you were the last good thing about this part of town. Someday I'll appreciate in value, get off my ass and call you...but for the meantime I'll sport my brand new fashion of waking up with pants on at 4:00 in the afternoon. You need him. I could be him... I could be an accident but I'm still trying. That's more than I can say for him. Current Mood:  melancholy | | Sunday, April 16th, 2006 | | 3:32 pm |
Anniversary!
One year ago this weekend, I flew up here to close on the condo and move in. It's been a hell of a year! Moved up here, spent six months in Tampa, traveled to San Francisco, Las Cruces, London, Paris, and of course, Cocoa Beach/Satellite Beach about ten times. Started a great new career, settled into a new home I adore, made a bunch of new friends, and kept up and reunited with a lot of old ones. One hell of a year. | | Saturday, April 15th, 2006 | | 12:06 pm |
Sentimental moment
Going through old photos, picking out things to get printed and framed, and I'm just momentarily overcome by GRATITUDE... I've been so fortunate over the years to meet wonderful people, forge outstanding friendships, and live a very full life. Thank you -- all of you -- for such terrific memories. That is all :) | | Sunday, March 19th, 2006 | | 8:20 am |
Back from Europe!
First, and most importantly, let me just say how fantastic a time I had with Laura and Whitney, from Las Cruces. What a terrific pair of traveling companions! Thank you, ladies, for making the trip so extraordinary. Next, photos! Because I took so many, I had to split the collection up into chunks to fit on webpages, so I divided it up by day. See the first one at http://homepage.mac.com/gatoruptown/PhotoAlbum8.html and click through the links at the top to cycle through the days. Rather than churn out one giant message, I'll post one on London and one on Paris. For now, let me just say, what a trip.... What a trip. And yes, I'm already scheming about my next European destination. Rome, anyone? :) | | Tuesday, March 14th, 2006 | | 11:46 am |
Quick note!
No time for a full entry, but for the record: I'm in London, and I never want to leave! | | Wednesday, March 8th, 2006 | | 1:40 pm |
NEARLY THERE!
Birds flyin' high You know how I feel Sun in the sky You know how I feel Breeze driftin' on by You know how I feel It's a new dawn It's a new day It's a new life For me And I'm feelin' good 52 hours to go before departing for London and Paris... But who's counting? Current Mood:  chipper | | Sunday, March 5th, 2006 | | 2:38 am |
Thoughts from the gay bar
Yes, he's hot. No, I don't want to go talk to him. Because he's wearing a twink bracelet. Meaning he's not even 21. Yes, yes, I agree, he's hot. No, I've never seen anyone dance so seductively before. No, I don't want to go talk to him. We've been over this. I'm probably closer to his parents' age than to his. He could be 18 and in high school for all I know. Yes, that was great, what he did just now. Yep, made my toes curl up too. No, I don't want to talk to him. Yes, I saw him looking at me. Yes, I'm sure he saw me looking at him. He knows exactly what he's doing. Little bastard. No, I don't want to talk to him. Could you see me introducing that kid to my parents? What about taking him to a work function with bank executives? Exactly. Yes, I understand, he's still hot. No, I don't want to talk to him. No, I didn't notice whether he was "packing" or not. No, I don't care if he's a "grower" or a "shower" ("show-er" not shower, as in bathing) That's really not important to me. Yes, he's hot. No, I wouldn't want to have him just for a night. Tell me again why I paid eight bucks to get in here. Please don't push me into people again. Yes, that guy was hot too, but I don't want to be pushed into him. Because I'm not at a junior high school dance. No, I don't want to talk to that guy either. I hate this bar. Ugh. He keeps trying to "accidentally" cop a feel while hugging me. I don't want another hug. It's time to go. Someone please tell me why I came to this bar. I miss my friends from Brevard and Las Cruces. | | Tuesday, February 21st, 2006 | | 6:36 pm |
Funeral instructions
An open letter to friends and family, regarding my wishes for funeral arrangements: First and foremost, my funeral should be about me. ME, ME, ME. People aren't coming to my funeral because they want to hear about God or Jesus or the Bible. They're coming because I'm dead, and they want to gather together with other people who will miss me, for fellowship and comfort. Therefore, let me state in no uncertain terms that my funeral SHOULD NOT BE A RELIGIOUS AFFAIR. If it will make my mother feel better, I'll permit a brief -- BRIEF! -- sermon from a minister, provided he NOT ONCE mention Hell, or sin, or redemption. Let him say that I was a good person and that I tried to live a good life, let him say I brought joy to those that knew me, blah blah blah, but don't turn my funeral into an effort to validate anyone else's religious beliefs or -- and this really pisses me off -- SCARE people into thinking that they'd better join up in a hurry in case they're next. Clergy who try to RECRUIT at a funeral should be ashamed of themselves. It's tasteless exploitation and there's absolutely no excuse for it. Next, let's talk about mood. I'm not going to be one of those people that says that everyone should be happy and cheerful at my funeral. Let's face is, all kidding aside, funerals are never overtly happy occasions, unless you hated the deceased and are giddy at the possibility of an inheritance (you're not getting a penny out of me, you bastard, so piss off). If you want to be sad, I'll take the compliment. Frankly, I'd be a little ticked if everybody had TOO good of a time at my funeral -- I'm friggin' dead, you should be a LITTLE disappointed. Now, I'm not sayin' we need people wailing and tearing at their clothes (unless it's performance art, in which case it's permitted, if tastefully done) but a few sniffles here and there aren't going to get me riled. Regarding logistics... First of all, I want my funeral to be in Florida. I don't care where I am living at the time, Florida is where my life as I know it began, and it seems fitting to me that my funeral be held there. If it's 2025 and all of my friends and family and I are living elsewhere, I'm flexible on this point, but that's a big "if" right there. Now, I have very dear friends at different points around the country, and it's very important to me that everyone be able to attend. If that means delaying a few days, fine, find a big freezer and toss me in it. If it means using life insurance money to pay for airfare for those that can't afford it, that's okay. If you've got to sell my car to bail Damon out of the county lock-up for his drunk-and-disorderly charge from the night before (nothin' but love for ya, little brother, you know that) then GO FOR IT. I want everyone there, by hook or by crook. Anyone I've ever lived with -- or spent more than five consecutive days intoxicated with -- gets to attend. Period. If my pilot friends have to steal planes to go pick people up, everyone else has to chip in on their legal fees. When it comes to speeches, first, remember my earlier warning about religion. Talk about ME, not God or whatever. And while it's okay to mention that you'll miss me (hopefully), please don't turn it into a big woe-is-me session. Yeah, it sucks that I'm dead, but you're not there to go on and on about me being dead. You're there to remember what my life was like. BE FUNNY. I'll take some good-natured jokes at my expense, provided they're tasteful (presumably my family will be there, so we don't need to get too deeply into the drunken excesses of my youth, ANTHONY). Think of it as a PG-13 rated roast... That's "roast" as in the Friar's Club, not as in burning in hell for being queer or a Democrat or whatever people are going to Hell for these days. Tell stories about funny or stupid things I did. Feel free to balance that with some stories about what a great guy I was, of course. Surely there's at least one or two events in which I made a meaningful impact on your life, in a good way. Now, onto audio/visual assistance. I take a lot of photos, and so do many of my friends, so I expect the place to be OVERWHELMED by visual rememberences. If you wanna put up some laptops with slideshows, perhaps set to music, that'd be great. Being so fond of storytelling, let me add that I'd appreciate any opportunity for people to go through photos (print or electronic, whatever) and share stories about when they were taken. TELL STORIES, damn it. Remember. We had some good times, yeah? If you need material to work with, you can find a TON of photos of mine from pre-2006 at http://photos.yahoo.com/gatoruptown/ and http://homepage.mac.com/gatoruptown/ for stuff from 2006 and later. MUSIC. Feel free to play some cheesy we-will-miss-you music. Slow soft songs about friendship and love and whatnot, that's all good. But can we please also get some music with a BEAT, damn it? Play some of my favorite stuff. Balance some showtunes with some 90s rock. The classics. Do not allow any religious music to be sung or played, under any circumstances. The only hymn I want to hear is "Santa Fe." Any questions? Will, Thijson, Damon, and BJ had damned well better all sing something. I don't care if it's as a group, or individually, or dueling friggin' pianos, but I spent the best years of my life listening to you four make music and I want everyone at my funeral to enjoy it also. Hey, speaking of music, somebody make Will get up and sing the "I'll Cover You" reprise from Rent. Bonus points if a bunch of people in the audience jump in with the chorus towards the end, like in the funeral scene of the movie. Any other opportunities for my friends to show off the creative talents that inspired me should be in full force at my funeral. Becca Schramm and Josh Maynard, draw something for me. Austin gets to be the interior designer. Giles, dance. Thijs gets to be the DJ. Justin from Charlotte gets to play piano. Brandon from Charlotte gets to do impressions, including some of me (shudder). Somebody hook up a couple of X-Boxes and get a wild Halo tournament going. Anthony even gets to use the needler. Oh, speaking of needles... if any of my inked friends want to get one last tattoo with me, I'm all for it. As long as you all agree on the choice of tattoo, I'll take it, provided it's not on my face. Seriously, how cool would that be? Hell yeah. Okay, RECEPTION... Rent out a corner of some restaurant/bar. I want an open bar tab, damn it, even if it means selling my worldly possessions. Use my credit cards before the companies get wind of my untimely demise. Everybody gets to be DRUNK at my final party, but it's okay if you do it at the reception instead of the funeral (gotta give a nod to family sensibilities, after all). I want casual observers to think this event was sponsored by Jack Daniels, ya get me? Make sure Mom gets at least two drinks, something fruity and stronger than it tastes. Seven years of good luck if you manage to pile some tables together and do a smashing rendition of La Vie Boheme up on top of them. I WANT SONG AND DANCE at my reception, damn you. If people get tanked enough, I won't object to an impromptu Time Warp, but it better be drunken and sloppy. As for something a little more delicate... If at all possible, go for an open casket. Dress me to the nines, with a nice dark suit and the sort of bright, colorful tie that drove Mom nuts. DO NOT CLOSE THE CASKET until every person there has had as much time as they want up there. There's no rush -- y'all don't have anyplace better to be. Afterwards, I'd like to be cremated. I thought it was brilliant, dividing Ginger's ashes and giving portions to loved ones and scattering some at places she loved. Toss some onto Cocoa Beach for me, some at White Sands, and some at Central Park (I'll take any excuse to go to NYC). Beyond that, I'm negotiable. Obviously I'd like my mother and father to be able to each take some and either keep or scatter as they wish. Others should be given the option. Frankly, I'm all for offering up tiny portions to anyone who wants one, but I'll leave the details up to my parents and those closest to me. Bonus points if you can get a chunk of me shot up into space, a la James Doohan (if you don't know the story, look it up) Did I mention that I don't want this to be religious? I swear, my corpse will come crashing out of the coffin and strangle anyone who mentions Jesus Christ as anyone's personal savior and the consequences of being a nonbeliever. HAPPY TALK that doesn't exclude anyone based on their religious beliefs or lack thereof. I am not a religious person, so don't let anyone make me out to be one -- on the other hand, I respect everyone's individual choices about religion, so as long as you're not attributing anything to me or offending anybody, and it's MILD and BRIEF, it's okay if it will comfort my mother. Remember good times together, sing and dance, drink heavily. LAUGH as much as realistically possible. Celebrate the time we had together, and set out to continue having good times. Make sure you throw a little extra fun in there to account for my share. In closing, let me just say that there's nothing like a HORRID display at a funeral to make you think twice about your life and your death. It's crazy to think how suddenly someone can be gone... I'm very thankful that I'd been talking to Matt quite a bit before he died, but I know there are others out there that I haven't kept in as good of contact with. Let's do better, shall we? If I were to die tomorrow, I'd hate for anyone out there to not know what they meant to me. Love, Kevin | | Saturday, February 18th, 2006 | | 9:41 pm |
Matt Jordan - RIP
Matt, you were my first friend in Charlotte, even before I moved here. You showed me around town, you helped me get stuff for the new place, you talked my ear off and listened to me ramble. We had our differences, but in the end you were a great friend. I'm sorry I never got to say goodbye, but I'm glad things were good between us at the end. I take some small measure of pride in knowing that I was responsible for your recent obsessions with Battlestar Galactica and Avenue Q. At least you got a good dose of culture before you died. One does what one can. You know what would be just GREAT? If friends of mine WOULDN'T die of heart failure at 21 or 22. That'd just rock. I miss you, Ginger Pierce Davis. Take care of Matt for me. If you didn't know Matt, you can learn about him on LiveJournal and MySpace: http://liberterrorist.livejournal.com/http://www.myspace.com/mattbearMatt Jordan, dead at 22 from natural causes. Rest in peace, my friend. | | Friday, February 17th, 2006 | | 3:47 pm |
Cruise idea
Carnival Fantasy -- renovated last year July Ports of call Arrival time Departure time 6th Cape Canaveral, Florida --- 4:30 PM 7th Nassau, Bahamas 10:00 AM --- 8th Nassau, Bahamas --- 7:00 AM 9th Cape Canaveral, Florida 7:00 AM --- Inside cabin Square footage: 186 sq ft Occupancy: Up to 2 guests (some sleep up to 4) Amenities: Sitting area, desk, two twin beds that convert to a queen-size bed, private bathroom with shower, TV with first-run movies, and telephone About $450 per person, after taxes and fees. Anyone? Anyone? | | Monday, February 6th, 2006 | | 8:11 pm |
Stonehenge Option 2
Option 2: Windsor, Salisbury and Stonehenge Tour Evan Evans Tours London United Kingdom Fri, 10th February 2006 - Fri, 31st March 2006 Included Highlights: • Professional Blue Badge Guide • Guided Tour of Windsor Castle • Entry to Salisbury Cathedral • Entry to the ancient monoliths of Stonehenge Windsor Castle - This full day tour begins with a visit to Windsor Castle built high above the River Thames, it has been home to the Royal Family for 900 years, and is the largest and oldest occupied Castle in the world. You will see the magnificent State Apartments, still used today for State occasions and royal receptions. You will also see St George's Chapel, burial place of many kings and queens, and the home of our senior order of chivalry, The Order of the Garter. If time permits, or if you prefer, you could visit Queen Mary's Dolls House. Salisbury, Old Sarum, was the site of the original castle, church and settlement. The story goes that the Bishop shot an arrow, the place where it landed was where the new cathedral was to be built and the town of Salisbury grew up around the cathedral. In Salisbury you will visit one of England's finest cathedrals, started in 1220, remarkably it took 38 years to build and was completed by 1258 with the Spire, the tallest in England (123m/404ft) added a generation later. Its interior is breathtaking, you will also see the oldest working clock in Europe. In the Chapter House, you will see one of the few surviving copies of the Magna Carta, written in a beautiful script and sealed by King John in 1215. Salisbury Cathedral has always been a setting for great occasions and huge colourful processions, it is a majestic and awe-inspiring building, as it has been for over 775 years. Mysterious Stonehenge now awaits, situated on the historic Salisbury Plain. It is the most important prehistoric site in England and is unique throughout the whole world. Now a 'World Heritage Site' and surrounded by other ancient burial sites, it encompasses some 5000 years of history. You will have the opportunity to walk around the huge stones that form the circle and form your own opinion about the people who once lived here and why they decided to build this huge monument. | | 8:09 pm |
Stonehenge Option 1
Option 1: Stonehenge, Lacock and Bath Tour Premium Tours London United Kingdom Thu, 23rd February 2006 - Thu, 28th September 2006 Stonehenge - private viewing at sunset where you can touch the stones. Highlights: • Private viewing of Stonehenge at sunset or sunrise • Enter the stone circle and touch the stones • Visit Lacock, a delightful Saxon village • See where Harry Potter and Pride and Prejudice were filmed • Meal stop in a 13th century inn (food/drinks not included) • Visit Bath - free time to shop and explore • Entrance to the Roman Baths and Pump Room included After your pick-up directly from or near to your hotel, we drive to Bath to visit the Roman Baths and Pump Room. In the late afternoon we visit Lacock for an early evening supper in a 13th century inn, before driving to Stonehenge. As the sun begins to set, we enter the stone circle (which is normally roped off to the public) for a unique private viewing. The most dramatic and atmospheric way of visiting Stonehenge. On selected days the tour operates in reverse, beginning with a private viewing of Stonehenge before it opens to the public in the morning, so we see the stones in the eerie morning light. This is followed by our visits to Lacock and Bath. STONEHENGE PRIVATE VIEWING AT SUNSET AND TOUCH THE STONES Built nearly 5,000 years ago, Stonehenge is the most popular prehistoric monument in the world. Most visitors to the site are not allowed direct access to the stones. With Premium Tours you get that access, with a private viewing of the mysterious monoliths. We will enter the stone circle itself and stand beside the mighty Sarsen rocks towering above us. Our guide will explain the history of this ancient site, pointing out the altar, slaughter and heel stones, above which the sun rises dramatically on the summer solstice. There will be time to enjoy the peace, away from the crowds, as we experience Stonehenge at its most mystical and atmospheric best. Not to be missed! LACOCK Lacock is a little known, picturesque village dating back to the Saxon era. Many of the beautiful buildings originally formed part of an extensive monastic complex and are now owned by The National Trust. So pretty is the village that it has provided the setting for many movies and television dramas including Jane Austens Pride and Prejudice and more recently Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone. We will take a delightful walk before we enjoy an early evening supper* (or breakfast for morning tours*) in The George, a vintage English pub built in 1361. *food/drink not included BATH Bath, a world heritage site, is a beautiful Georgian city with delightful crescents, terraces and architecture. There will be plenty of time to visit Bath Abbey, or to shop and explore. Your guide will also conduct an optional walking tour to show you where Charles Dickens lived and worked as a young man, and a give you a chance to sample some delicious cheeses fresh from the local dairy farms. Then we will enter the magnificent Roman Baths, where over one million litres of boiling water still burst free from the hot springs everyday. | | Friday, February 3rd, 2006 | | 8:25 pm |
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